Women Women and We Men!

It really is tough for guys to, not look at a pretty girl and think for a second, “Oh, how I wish I was with her!” If in actuality it happens, Oh boy! There stops the fun! Guys with beautiful chicks, [I could call them girl-friends, but what the heck, chick is a slick word to address!] be honest and tell me the last time you had a proper look at any other beautiful, sober, sexy girl with your chick beside you! You might as well keep your index finger on your chin and go, “Duhhhh!”. Exactly the point I was driving to. The fun stops right there when you think you have finally got “THE GIRL” in your life! No! Don’t do that! Never! Have fun, after all life is not for being only with women! [How rude exclaims a girl! bah!] You could get your “THE-GIRL”, but give yourself some time before you zero-in on your final choice. We guys are more than precious to make the wrong choice and later lament about it. One has to learn how to balance, and that happens through experience. Bravo! Bravo! Well Said!

Ever tried arguing with a girl? Its total fun! They could either be so pestersome and garrulous or basically just wrong. But never give up, do they? Nah! Never! So it is all the more fun for us to just stay in the arguement since we know the rules. And, if they realise that they are talking nothing but crap, they shrug you off by sayin, “Oh you are just so…” OR “Just forget it!” OR “Dont talk to me!” And hey they got lots of such kind, in their arsenal that mutes a guy just like that! Talk about oratory skills! For a second, you get this unusually abstruce feeling, “Wait a minute, Was I wrong? Was it not her fault? Well, I better apologise!” Yeah! Yeah! You can deny it, but most guys end up doing this or suffer a girl-friend loss straight-away!

Try to shop with a girl! Oh man, you can really hone your skills at patience! You might have to climb up and down the stairs of a million shops, park yourself at a hundred shopping malls, yet your chick wouldn’t have got that one-perfect piece that god-knows if he has made it! Probably in hell! To convince you, she would go any extent, believe me!

Like,
“Honey, you are not getting bored, are you?” she askes.
“Oh no! I was born for this!” he thinks of retorting, but
“No problem honey, Take your time!” is what eventually comes out of him!

What can anyone say? Guys’ testosterones are totally nullified by women. Probably with age, the converse starts to happen. One hopes!

I’m going to quote a real time example! I once went to shop with a girl. She said it was going to be a strict 20-min affair, as all she wanted was a skirt that touched her toes!

Obviously, I was bought by her tender promise! Sweet me!

Disappointment #1: I had always thought skirts were worn to show your skin off! I personally thought skirts were long if they covered your knees! I mean why would you wear a skirt that touched yor toes? Go wear a trouser! So now, my fun part was already cut-short!

I had nothing to do over there, cos I went there as just an accomplice! Half hour gone already!
I stepped in and asked if i could help,
“Just look for something good and sensible” she said,
“How about these?” holding a pair of shorts, that would have fit her perfectly and given me a little visual pleasure! And my imagination already running wild with her in it!
“What the hell are those?” she quipped with her eye-brows conjoining to make dangerous curves!
“But, you.., you.. said Good and sensible?” I shakily stammered! Boy, when I say eye-brows making dangerous curves, you know what I mean!
“Just shadap and go stand over there! You are no good at this!”
“Yeah right! I heard someone tell me about some 20-min affair!” whispering to myself not daring to disturb the sanctity of air around my mouth!
“Did you just say something?”
“Who me? No! Nothing! You take your time, I’ll be right there!” Phew! Was that close or what!!

Getting the better out of a situation! Ah! You got to give this to them! “Weaker-sex”, these two terms are the deadliest if you are pitted against women! If there is a situation, say a crisis, “Let all the women out of it first!” would be the first official announcement to go on air! See, weaker-sex! Similarly, say a heavy argument, there is one good come-back for her that no-man till date has ever managed to crack,

“Shame on you! How could you talk like this to a woman?!” Blank, goes the guy! There are quite a few like these to work good in their favour, like,

“I’m a girl! How could I possibly do it?” Yeah! We knew that!
“The society is just so rude to us, women!” Oh! Now it’s the society’s turn!
“Come on! I’m just a girl! Can’t you see?” I wish I could see that part of you!

It sure is a tough world for guys with women around, as you may have experienced yourself! I am saying experienced cos, for beginners it is a pleasure, undefinable! Yeah, you can go on saying that evolution stops without women, and the Women Welfare people are going to hunt me down and shoot me down! But I had to do this! I apologise to all the women for being blatantly truthful based on factful evidences. Having said all these, I salute the spirit of woman hood, who have stood tall despite the zillion hardships meted out to them! When it comes to bearing a child in her womb for nine-hard-months and going through the agonising labour, we all stand in unison to salute you! After all, HE had his plans set right! A little devil inside me says that, even God is referred to as “HE” not “SHE“! Yeah!

PS: Bah! It’s a humbug world out there and we all fit the bill to perfection!