I got promoted... A MORON got a halo now!!!

This is one of the impressive mails I have received.. Posting mails is not my forte but this one actually blew me away so, here's it for your enjoyment (or otherwise).. take it with a pinch of salt... MARRIAGE, [1] the dawn of romance and the commencement of history; [2] a word that should be pronounced as "mirage"; [3] an event, for the upper middle class, is the only adventure left; [4] a very good way to promote civilization -- if you get a good wife you will be happy, if you get a ba… Continue

Date: 11 July 2008 Dear Diary, Hi, myself, Harshad Barge, I greet you as we are meeting for the first time ever. Lets get to the point, the sole reason for this supposed symbiotic relationship is to understand and interpret my own thought prior to a certain activity and later to the same activity, I also know that I will be rarely using your services and hence am grateful for extending a helpful and a selfless hand. Subject: Vishal, my cousin informed me just out of the blue of my involvement to… Continue

One of the rarest occasions when I remember my dreams, I dunno if I have lost the ability of remembering dreams or is it a defect. I call this phenomenon a defect cause I read and hear a lot about living your dreams and making them true, dreaming big and trying to catch them, having those aspirations and the act of playing catch-up with those is a thing of today! This society brands those without the aforementioned characteristics as slackers and good-for-nothing fellows, most probably unemploy… Continue

I had been to Matheran recently as a weekend excursion with guys in my hood, y’kno the freak-out types and had loads of fun. I tell you, the best part of traveling is the monsoon (I know the statement is hazy, but kindly manage with it!). with God switching on the natural air-conditioner and the nature in its awesome glory as if trying to seduce every living being within its reach to copulate and cause an explosion (er.. population explosion i.e.), you just cant help it but, take some fem… Continue

Astrology has been a major point of consideration in Indian mythology, every major decision or even minor has been influenced by the position of major stars and heavenly bodies and highly complex mathematical calculations! Well, they even still are important and that importance has been maintained by political parties before starting any electoral campaign performing havans and mahapujas to please the election Gods, though I seriously doubt their existence, well, atheists doubt the existence of… Continue

Pain Hark! I see a beacon! A beacon of hope; To extend a hand; A hand to relieve this distress; To lift me from this pain; As demons start packing; Demons of despair and pain; These demons within me; As I wade towards the beacon; Through troubled waters; They untiringly push us apart; Playing an intricate part; The more I try the harder they try; Both relentless in their pursuit; Pursuit towards relief and peace; Nobody but and old ally visits me; Unsurprisingly has the usual warmth; Offering t… Continue

I sit down to write another blog, mainly cause I am way too tired to shake up my grey matter to decide how much steel to buy for the next 3-month-forecast-report my boss wants on urgency… I mean, his ass is on the line for not taking planning decisions, not mine.. I suppose, in some intricate manner, it must be saving the company a lot of money! Everything accepted, but why should I use my under-developed skills to influence major decisions which run into a couple of crores in Indian rupee terms… Continue

Being a working bachelor means only one thing, and no, its not related to sex as you might have conceived.. WEEKENDS! After a long working week as we all have to go through, two whole days to kick out the monotony of spending about 45.918% of our conscious lives working and earning our daily bread (math: 24X7=168 living hours; reduce 10X7=70 hours of sleep, hence left with 98 conscious living hours; 9 working but unproductive hours per weekday; 5 weekdays = 45 working hours; so, 45/98 =… Continue

A series of recent personal events have put me down a lot and hence, just to lift me up, I thought of my golden college days, spent a bit of time to retrieve those old memories. You all must be thinking (even if not, what the fuck!!) why write a blog then? Well, I thought even if you reverend assholes may not be of the ‘Duniya Bachao Andalon Samiti’ or some shit like that, why do you guys not get a lift with me? As I take you through the old cob-web laden pathways of my college days, maybe you g… Continue

How do you define pointless? Does this word in itself possess any potential to have a meaning? Unlike vacuum which actually holds material value attached, does ‘Pointless’ have any to its credit? Dictionary defines Pointless as ‘Serving no useful purpose; having no excuse for being’ Speaking / abiding by the meaning, does the word have any emotional quotient attached to it? I guess, it does and in a huge quantity or a whole of an em… Continue

“Everybody is out to abuse and rape the country. Nobody thinks of feeding the system. Our conscience is mortgaged to money.” – Dr. A. P. J. Kalam Former President Of India. A formal mail sent to me just after the Jaipur blast yesterday which left over 50 people DEAD, over 100 grievously injured and a countless psychological injuries. I am ashamed to type the words below but, after asking a few minutes of silence from my boss, I am compelled to get you readers through my angst towards everythin… Continue

I have been most of my conscious life out of home, rather almost-all of my conscious life I would say. Science calls the age of 16-17 as the age when a guy gains puberty and is the time when the boy-to-man transition starts taking place. The transition is never actually complete till his death-bed though. That’s what I profoundly believe in. Boys will always be boys, believe it or not! I have been in Belgaum, Karnataka for 4 years of my engineering since 2002, then 2 Years in Surat, Gujarat at… Continue

Time: 10:45am Date: 19 April 2008 Place: Vile Parle Railway Station Activity: Exploring the musical talent of the newly downloaded Leona Lewis album in wait of a friend who was supposed to arrive at 10:30 am. No, I am not against perseverance; I do not get fussy if people come 1-2 hrs late than the slated hour particularly if I have got my music player with me. This activity puts me into trance where my mind inherently tries to decode the effort put by the artist for that particular song (an… Continue

Ok, let’s not delve in what fantasies are made up of as they may seem a bit inappropriate or rather offensive to the ‘responsible’ (read censor-board) population (which I seriously doubt whether it exists). Curse me later for the conflicting combination of title and content. :P These are the fantasies if MY MIND, things that I have looked upto with passion, desire, want, all in a great taste and none of greed, one those are talked about in this blog i.e. None belong to the class of perverse, de… Continue

This one definitely spurns my soccer juices and i am 200% sure it will yours too... Watch this and be amazed http://clubjam.jammag.com/video/video/show?id=1230525%3AVideo%3A36167

No, I don’t do stuff if I don’t want to but, this is typically a case where I have to showcase my journo skills cause, I have been the ‘Jammer of the Fortnight’ (And, I am not bluffing). I have been challenged to no end, threatened, offered lucrative options if I could write a blog, not on myself or not what I think of but, for a friend of mine, a very good friend, a recent member of Club Jam which according to me is a very daunting task. I normally type down whatever strikes MY mind and… Continue

When I was in the final year of Mechanical Engineering in Belgaum, we had a very crazy class, bursting with ides for the final year project. As much as everyone was excited about their ideas, no matter how imaginary or out of reach, either technically or physically, only one thing held us back, FINANCE. We as students of an engineering background, were always broke. Except the elite few ‘born with a silver spoon in their mouth’ types, we had either very little or no money at any given point of t… Continue

Sometimes I fall short of desire... Sometimes I fall short of effort... Sometimes I fall short of myself... Sometimes I fall short of people... Sometimes I fall short of affection... Sometimes I fall short of anger... Sometimes I fall short of others... But it’s just sometimes, Just sometimes… What I never fall short of is despair... What I never fall short of is failure... What I never fall short of is nothingness... What I never fall short of is this throb to put all this to an end… Continue

The time span: 2005-2008 will largely be remembered to as the days of Media Boom. Or as I may call as, the ‘Era when more crap has been established on the idiot box’. There are all types of news channels showcasing nearly all type of stuff: news, soaps, Rakhi Sawant, politics, bhoot-pret, stocks, and economy, nearly everything one could ask for. All these are there for some time now but none I could call phenomenal or groundbreaking. CNN IBN & Times NOW come close in my review but both falte… Continue

Part 2 OK, now, you have the IM in your system connected to every one other in your company.. You have to be overtly cautious as to who all are receiving this message, do your settings and all and select the most elusive of the lot who chat a lot, do about nothing in your organization and form a catalyst to the process that follows.. yesssss, you guessed it right.. these are the ladies of your organization. Now, since I was in an Oil & Gas major at the time I pulled this prank, you… Continue